I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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