So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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