I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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