Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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