You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
