Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
