i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
