You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
its liver damage thursday
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
