i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
