The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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