How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
