Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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