I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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