you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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