mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
