okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
how does that bad decision feel?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
