Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
