well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
