Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize