i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
wow bdsm is so cute
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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