i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
