you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
