It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
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I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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