so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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