her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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