Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
