This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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