Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
