he thought i was a dude.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
