it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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