So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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