i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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