For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
