Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize