He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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