Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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