just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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