Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize