We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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