yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
