So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
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I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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