they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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