I can tuck mytits in my pants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize