I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
