I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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