He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
