I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
