so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
