so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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