Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
