Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
