Michael Bay diarrhea
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
