No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize