i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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