you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
