pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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