hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
