i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
worst night to have a conscience
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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