I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
