i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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