how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
