I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't deserve a penis
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
